Thursday, November 27, 2014

Caí

Cada segundo se clava en mi corazon,
quiero huir de la soledad, pero me encanta esta deprimente paz
cada segundo que pasa me consume, y me siento sola,
me siento enferma, enferma de tener que vivir dia a dia acompanada por un vaso de agua y una pantalla obsoleta,
dia a dia gotas se desprenden de mis ojos como si fuese el cielo, y dia a dia mi enfermedad esta peor.
Dia a dia extraño mas la guerra, y dia a dia me dan mas ganas de volver.
Veo mi arma todos los dias, y me tienta, me tienta tocarla y usarla, usarla en esa deformidad que aparece en el agua...
He caido de nuevo, cai en un hueco que parece ser mas profundo que antes, pareciera que todo este tiempo no estaba trabajando para salir, sino cavando mas profundamente.
Nosotros los que volvemos de la guerra sabemos como es, sabemos que es algo que no se puede disfrutar, es una enfermedad que se desvanece cuando acompañado de los que te aman, y vuelve a cazarte mucho mas fuertemente cuando en la soledad.


Think

I shan't be guided by what has been done,
but by how the experience came about.
I shall enjoy every second that passed before the mess was given,
and thank for the joy and excitement that ran through my veins.
Remember the wind running through my hair,
and my heart screaming with joy.
But as my enjoyment reached its top,
the earth trembled, and I dropped.
I realized what had gone wrong, and all I saw was red.
Tears fell, my heart was beating even faster,
my arms and legs were numb with anger,
And looking down on myself I felt powerless,
powerless and mad with myself, myself from 5 minutes ago,
who thought that such a stupid idea could have been fun,
And that no harm could have happened.
Now look, has the harm been done, has it been enough?
Has it reached the point of realizing that something that hasn't been given that much thought could harm you unimaginably?
Shall I hope so and not find myself in a worse situation when the time comes.
And shall I remember to think and reflect.